


How Not To Train Your Not-sith Enemy

by humane



Series: Skywalking Through The Galaxy- Kylux [1]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: And Kylo The Failsith, Angst, Crack, Humor, Hux The Uptight Jedi, Jedi!Hux, M/M, Or Fail-whatever-Snoke's-trying-to-make-him-be
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-19
Updated: 2016-04-19
Packaged: 2018-06-03 05:57:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6599392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/humane/pseuds/humane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Forgive me, master." Hux murmured, head bowed in shame, "I feel it again. The pull from the dark. It tempts me more each time."<br/>Luke arched a single bushy eyebrow. You? Tempted? it seemed to say.<br/>"It's Kylo Ren." Hux admitted. Sympathy and profound understanding blossomed on Luke's face, the likes of which could only be observed in individuals that had personally experienced the unique brand of disaster that was Kylo Ren.<br/>"Are you tempted by his chaos?" he prompted. "His unbridled power? His seeming freedom? None of those are the way of the force."<br/>Hux frowned, puzzled. "No." he said, "I'm just tempted to decapitate him."</p><p>Or: In which Hux is an EXTREMELY uptight jedi knight and Kylo is the not-sith that gives Hux aneurisms with the sheer blazing power of his incompetence.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How Not To Train Your Not-sith Enemy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hollycomb](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hollycomb/gifts).



 

"Forgive me, master." Hux murmured, head bowed in shame, "I feel it again. The pull from the dark. It tempts me more each time."

Luke arched a single bushy eyebrow. _You? Tempted?_ it seemed to say.

"It's Kylo Ren." Hux admitted. Sympathy and profound understanding blossomed on Luke's face, the likes of which could only be observed in individuals that had personally experienced the unique brand of disaster that was Kylo Ren.

"Are you tempted by his chaos?" he prompted. "His unbridled power? His seeming freedom? None of those are the way of the force."

Hux frowned, puzzled. "No." he said, "I'm just tempted to decapitate him."

 

It tracked back to that one fateful night, when Luke pulled Hux aside after the evening mass meditation and assigned him a mission that would ruin him eventually.

"There is a man you must retrieve." he said. "A lost ally. He was seduced by Snoke while he was still a padawan- he was my nephew, Ben Solo. You may have heard of him."

Hux, who had been one of the rare cases that were discovered and accepted into the Jedi Temple well into his teenage years, hadn't known the man in question before he defected, though he had heard enough of the leftover reputation to have an idea about who Ben was- or so he thought. Looking back on this later on, Hux would suspect that this was probably the reason Luke had picked him in the first place, so he could push an unsuspecting young jedi into the gaping abyss that was trying to talk sense into Kylo.

As it was, Hux inclined his head, said, "Of course, master." and walked away with classified intelligence about Kylo Ren's future whereabouts, appraisal for his service to the Jedi Order, and the master code for a spaceship stacked with stress-relief aroma sprays.

And that, if not anything else, should have clued him in to the magnitude of the misery that lay in his future.

 

 

 

The first time they fought, saber-to-saber, it ended with Kylo flat on his back with a sizzling gash across his face. It was somewhat unexpected of an outcome from an enemy who had two inches of height, thirty pounds of muscle, and an indeterminable amount of force-sensitivity on Hux. If Hux had the talent he could sense Kylo had, he would have knocked Kylo off twenty times over already. It was annoying, to say the least, to see this vast potential wasting to nothing from the carelessness of its possessor.

"I thought you joined the dark side for the power." Hux commented dryly. Kylo bristled beneath the blue buzz of Hux's saber-tip. His face was startlingly young under the mask; mid-twenties, but he looked younger for the wild expression he wore on his face. Hux knew they were around the same age, but it was impossible to imagine himself so brash and immature, so untrained.

"You're no match for my-"

Hux cut that off by nudging the crackling blade of his lightsaber closer to Kylo's throat.

"You affinity with the force? Yes, perhaps, but that's only if you can actually utilize it."

The instant their sabers had crossed, Hux had known why Luke had sent one of his freshest knights to face this notoriously strong force-user. Hux excelled in precisely everything that Kylo had an appalling lack of: control, among other things. Hux was a blade custom-fitted for the gaps in Kylo's armor.

Kylo bared his teeth at Hux. Hux barely kept himself from rolling his eyes at the man's unbelievable childishness. What use was _baring one's teeth_ except to expose one's emotions to the other?

"Just do what Luke sent you for already." Kylo said. "End me, what are you waiting for?"

"I'm not here to kill you. I'm here to return you to your master." Hux told him patiently. Though he was failing to see the point; Kylo was unlikely to ever become more than a clownish imitation of a jedi, in Hux's opinion. And he'd be horrible influence on the younglings. Perhaps if Hux threw him out an airlock and told Luke there had been an unfortunate accident?

"You'll have to drag me back bodily." Kylo sneered. It was barely visible through the ridiculous curtain of hair obscuring half of his face.

Hux suppressed a sigh. Or a contemptuous snort. Disciplined jedis did not snort. "And expose the entire temple to your endless whining? No. You're to be persuaded first."

He withdrew his saber in a smooth arc, clean and efficient and nothing like the ridiculous twirling Kylo seemed to favor. "It seems I'll be seeing you again. For your sake, I suggest you make your pointless resistance as brief as possible."

He allowed himself a private smirk as he launched off the planet and powered up to lightspeed, leaving Kylo incapacitated and unable to complete whatever gruesome mission Snoke had sent him on.

 

 

 

Besallia Hux had been his mother, sister to Brendol Hux and co-founder of the training institute that mass-produced stormtroopers for the Frist Order. Hux had never seen her in his life. It had less to do with the fact that she was executed for treachery two years after his birth and more to do with the fact that she'd shipped him to the other end of the galaxy as soon as he could survive outside the incubator. Growing up on one of the outer civilizations of the Republic, he'd known his heritage from early on in his life but had fostered no desire to return to his birthplace. Instead he'd developed an interest in engineering. He would have made an engineer out of himself before he turned eighteen, if Luke Skywalker himself hadn't come knocking on his door when he was seventeen with news of a talent he'd never even realized he had.

On most days, he was pleased with his choice to join the Jedi Order. Every day, in fact, on which he did not have to deal with Kylo Ren.

"Stop that nonsense with your right thumb!" he shouted, feeling his face, to his horror, heat up in horrible splotches of red.

"Mind your own fighting!" Kylo shouted back, swinging his lightsaber like one might a randomly unsocketed communications pole.

They were standing on some sort of island-rock that jutted awkwardly out of an endless canvas of ocean. It was barely big enough for two small spacecrafts, an improvised battlefield decided upon when Kylo finally caved to the various verbal jabs Hux threw across communications- in other words, Kylo had all but crash-landed on the nearest stable planet and emerged from his spacecraft already murderous and fuming.

This temper was just one among the many defects that Hux had identified in Kylo. If Hux had been the not-sith on a mission- not that he would ever put himself in such a moronic position- he would have volumed down the taunts and flown straight to his destination. He wouldn't have made room for any sort of taunt that counted, period.

"This is pointless." he muttered to himself, and powered off his lightsaber after leaving a battered Kylo on his ass for the umpteenth time.

"We're not done yet!" Kylo called on his receding back, bleeding from his side and _pounding_ on the wound, of all things, to sharpen his awareness enough to give chase to Hux. Hux didn't bother to grace that with a reply before he boarded his ship.

 

 

 

Hux had imagined a great many ways for himself to die, some more likely than the others. But he had admittedly never considered the possibility that he may one day be slain by aneurisms. Serenity in control, he reminded himself, harmony in order, power in discipline. Principles, belief, and constant, ceaseless dedication.

If only he could keep up the reminding in the face of one underdeveloped jedi-sith amalgamation.

 

 

 

"You need a teacher." Hux advised one bright morning, facing Ren across the lovely green meadows of Al Ta'erim.

"I am apprenticed to Snoke." Kylo snarled, "He's more powerful than all of you combined."

"In that case, Snoke needs a new apprentice. You're hopeless." Hux informed him.

Kylo let out an incoherent cry of rage and launched himself at Hux.

 

 

 

"If, hypothetically, you were to give advice to a force-sensitive who, hypothetically, is me," Kylo said, about to be handed his twenty-first defeat, "What would you say?"

Hux parried the outrageously inefficient twirl of Kylo's lightsaber and said, "Cut your hair. Half of it's in your face." he executed a counter-attack through a series of clean thrusts, "Can you even see through that thing?"

In hindsight, as a tactical man, he shouldn't have approached that particular line of conversation by mentioning the hair. There certainly were less volatile subjects for insult.

 

 

 

The next time, Hux wisely avoided addressing the almost-imperceptible trim done to Kylo's mane. It troubled Hux greatly that he was even noticing that sort of thing.

"If I were you, I'd start by actually gripping the handle with both of your hands." he said. "What are you leaving that other hand for? Groping your opponent?"

Kylo opened his mouth.

"And don't say you use it to direct the force. You know that's not how the force works."

Kylo shut his mouth. And brought his free hand to join the one holding his lightsaber.

"Better." Hux said, satisfied, and frowned, struck by a vague feeling that something unidentifiable was wrong with the situation. But Kylo chose that moment to bring down his saber on Hux's head with renewed enthusiasm, and he lost the thread of thought as he shifted his focus back to the task at hand.

 

 

 

The first time Kylo managed to knock Hux's lightsaber from his hands, Kylo simply stood there grinning delightedly, lightsaber forgotten and pointing limply downward in his grasp. Hux used that lapse in attention to kick the smile off Kylo's face and retrieve his weapon by the force. It seemed to take Kylo a few confused seconds to realize that he'd just blown away the perfect chance to be rid of Hux forever, and when he did his expression twisted into an endearing mix of fury and embarassment. It was sufficient material for a decade of shame, too, for fighters of his and Hux's caliber to lose focus gloating in the brief taste of victory. In fact, it was so amateur a mistake that it seemed unlikely even for someone like Kylo.

But the alternative was that Kylo hadn't been aiming to kill Hux at all, and the reason behind that was something Hux did not want to speculate on.

 

 

 

On one sunny evening while sweating under the glare of four enormous suns, Hux noticed that the fight was lingering longer than usual. In the midst of slicing up Kylo's newest not-rag of a cloak, Hux realized it was because Kylo was actually getting better. By fighting regularly with Hux. Luke hadn't said anything about not improving the skills of an enemy who'd probably use them to murder innocent civilians, but Hux had the feeling that it should feature somewhere in the unwritten part of jedi protocol.

Kylo had gotten remarkably better in controlling his temper, too. Actually, it was probably the very reason that he'd improved so much. Now that Kylo didn't do things like hurl his lightsaber at Hux's face with no care for consequences whatsoever, Hux could see that what he'd deemed an unnecessarily flippant style was lethal when combined with Kylo's level of physical power. Kylo was quick, straightforward in his approach and deadly when engaged in combat. He never seemed to tire beyond a slight quickening of breath.

He also didn't particularly fight like a sith. Or a dark side force-user, for that matter.

"Snoke taught you all the technicalities, the physical manoeuvers," Hux suddenly realized, "But he hasn't contaminated you with the essence of the dark side yet. You're no more dark than you are light right now, are you?"

Kylo didn't answer, pressing forward with steady precision. Hux was starting to think that this may turn out the day that their scores finally shifted from million-zero to million-one.

"When you murdered the other padawans and escaped to Snoke," he pressed, dancing out of Kylo's reach, "It was supposed to be the initiation of your trials. The elimination of attachments- attachment cultivated by oneself, attachment to one's roots, and attachment to the self, in that order." he ducked smoothly, "It didn't work. You had no love for your fellow students."

Their lightsabers met mid-air. Hux managed to put his back against a dead tree before it happened, and pushed away the brute strength of Kylo's slice with the support it provided.

Kylo stumbled back a few steps. The battle met a lull. Hux took a moment to steady his breathing, and another to savor the astonishment that Kylo had pushed him this far.

"The second is to be Han Solo. The man who made my body." Kylo said tonelessly. "But I'm blocked on the first. I don't care to develop pointless attachments at all."

They both grew rigid, then, staring into each other's eyes. An icy premonition struck Hux like cold water poured down his back. He'd been unsettled by Snoke's apparent unwillingness to interfere in his approaches toward Kylo; but now he was starting to think that the lack of action wasn't from disinterest, after all, but from a morbid purpose that would truly begin Kylo's ruin.

Judging by the look on Kylo's face, he had sensed the same. He abruptly turned off his lightsaber, turning and striding away toward where his spacecraft was parked on a mass of crushed forest.

"I won't return to the light. You'll never persuade me." he said over his shoulder, "Don't bother to engage me again. I've surpassed you- the next time you visit will be your last."

Hux did not miss the minute shiver that ran down Kylo's retreating frame.

 

 

 

After that, it was almost as if Kylo was avoiding Hux, and it was five standard weeks before Hux finally saw the man again. Kylo was waiting for him in the middle of the snowing wasteland of Mester, face grim and lightsaber a stark of line color against the white of his surroundings. Hux knew the reason Kylo had landed on this otherwise barren land; there was no mission to be had on this planet except the one that would follow him.

"Well, I'm flattered." Hux said, "I'm your first trial, am I not?"

Kylo wordless lifted his saber. It was a familiar dance. Swing and thrust, parry and retreat. It kept on silently for some time, and the first blood spilt was Hux's, when Kylo surprised him with a sharp jab to his shoulder following up a kick at his abdomen.

Kylo's blank expression cracked when Hux let out an involuntary cry of pain. Kylo took a step back, flinching like he was the one that had been injured.

In the next instant his expression had morphed into one of helpless anger. "This would not be happening if you just stayed away from me!" he hollered.

"You're blaming this on _me_?" Hux said incredulously. Kylo was not the one who'd lost things to their interaction, not the one who'd been infected by a sentiment that unbalanced his abilities rather than strengthen it. Hux was the one left hesitating before his duties, reeling in an unfamiliar unwillingness and dreading the inevitable end.

"I warned you," Kylo went on, his attacks surprisingly steady considering he was all but vibrating with emotion, "You should have gone back to Luke, requested a replacement, and now instead you're going to die-"

"As if you could defeat me now." Hux hissed, "Look at you, you're barely seeing two moves ahead for all your rage." He whirled away from Kylo's thrust and pushed him to the spot to their left, where the snow was covering a sunken spot in the ground. Kylo stumbled and rolled, coming to Hux again as soon as he was on his feet. "Defeat me, if you can. I doubt you could touch a hair of me in that state."

It was Hux's own lapse of composure rather than Kylo's regain of it that mattered, in the end. Kylo feinted to the left and brought his saber down on Hux's shoulder, and Hux, distracted, did not expect the horizontal slash that immediately followed it.

"Oh." he breathed in numb surprise, "There. You did it."

It was all he managed to say before he toppled backwards onto the snow. The wound was conveniently cauterized as it was made, and it felt more like a burn than a cut, lighting up his entire stomach in a mind-scattering fire.

"Shit, shit," he heard Kylo curse frantically. So that had not been intentional.

"I've failed." he said dazedly. Kylo fell to his knees and drew Hux up in an embrace that was far gentler than it should have been.

 _Failed,_ Hux thought again, and felt a brief stab of shame at the realization that it had not at all been unintentional. He had been waiting for it. He could not disobey a direct instruction from Luke, but Kylo did not want to return to the light. Even if he did, it might suffocate him just as the dark side had. Hux would have had to report to Luke eventually that he was failing to convince Kylo to come home- that he was unwilling to convince Kylo anymore, and that he would soon be unable to continue trying, anyway, as Kylo would come to overpower him in battle.

Luke would have given him orders to kill before it came to that. There was only one possible choice for Hux, then: stay silent and confront Kylo, as he was ordered, and fight until he was defeated.

Distantly he registered being lifted up and carried somewhere. The artificially warm air of the inside of a spaceship rushed into his lungs at some point. A ragged breathing by his ear, then a barely audible whisper: "Coordinates."

 "What?" Hux slurred, confused.

 "You're not the one who's going to fail." Kylo said through gritted teeth, "Coordinates, Hux. Which system is the new temple located in?"

 It took a long moment before Hux understood the implications of Kylo's words. "You don't have to do that. I didn't seek to chain you to the light with guilt."

 "This is not guilt." Kylo said quietly. The ship hummed to life beneath his flying hands.

 "Then what is it?" Hux said, thinking he knew the answer, fearing that he may be wrong.

 Kylo turned his head to look at Hux. "I'll tell you when we get to the temple."

 But the answer was already written in Kylo's expressive eyes, plain and bare for Hux to read. Hux smiled, recited Kylo the coordinates to the temple, and drifted off to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> This one's really bad, but I don't think it's going to improve so I'm posting as it is. I apologize for the quality. :(
> 
> Okay so actually I've been wanting to gift this to hollycomb but thought this was too low-quality, but majority opinion seems to think it's nice so I'm just doing it..! Holly I don't know if you remember but I'm that person who wrote you a dreamsharing gift fic that I intended to be light so you could laugh but which ended up dead serious. I wrote something lighter this time- hope you get all the little laughs in life for gifting us with your wonderful wonderful fics. Luv <333333


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